What’s the purpose of this? Why is this happening? What’s the point? Why do I still feel this way? Why am I still here?
I need help to get out of this hell I’m in. If I don’t end it tonight then I don’t know how I’m going to keep feeling like this and doing this to myself. I do not at all want to be here anymore. It’s too hard. It’s not okay anymore. I can’t keep this fake act bullshit that everyone wants from me. I’m so fucking sad and no one will understand that. They just get fucking mad at me. I’m sorry okay? I’m so fucking sorry. I love everyone who cares about me but I really just can’t. And I’m so sorry for that. I can’t be this person you want me to be. I’m all fucked up in the head now.
That was so heartbreaking. Dying right now sounds so good. I thought I was out of this hole. Guess I’m not.